Sunday, January 8, 2017

Some mind games we play!


Most times I keep thinking what will the other person think if I say or do something according to my choice, and hence keep wearing a mask and try to keep everyone happy.  This puts me in very precarious situation and I suffer further. This also reflects on my health most times!  

Me and my husband have long conversations on several challenges we face! I always feel that I know the best, but yet fall in a number of traps and face several problems in my life. A few words that my husband shared yesterday was worth noting, I felt it is very apt and useful to many of us!
He asked me  who is your priority in a relationship, I said "the other person and what the other person needs". He said plainly you are playing a game probably.  if you keep pleasing people around and think what the other person feels, you are playing a game of a rescuer. The game becomes addictive and will not permit you to come out of the role that you are playing. you continue to play the game and one day you are bottled up and would like to be what you are and you would like to give up the game, but the other person who is used to your behaviour will be annoyed and actually becomes the victim and feels persecuted, the relationship becomes worsened and both parties are hurt. 
Stop working on other minds and just work to your conscious, if you are strong with in you will not hurt yourself which helps you not to hurt others!

His simple line was 'Don't hurt yourself, if possible don't hurt others'.

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